Relationship, Couple Therapy

What is Relationship, Couples Therapy?

Couples &relationship therapy with Ben Peasley Counselling is an opportunity for a couple to talk through whatever it is they maybe experiencing in a space where it is sage to do so. It is also an opportunity to identify unmet needs and wants both known and unknown, discover why ‘things’ effect you in the way that they do and build strategies together to help you lessen the impact of these ‘things’.

Therapy is hard work and requires dedication from both parties to be successful. It can also have moments of pain as well as moments of great exhilaration for both clients.

Your relationship does not have to be at breaking point to benefit from relationship therapy. Life is very full and busy therapy can be dedicated time each week to talk openly and without interference, to discuss in detail the thoughts feelings and emotions you have going on inside you and receive support in understanding these and really feel heard. Also help and support in understand your partners thoughts feelings and emotions.

What Relationship, Couples Therapy is not.

It is not a place to validate or assign blame to either client. Therapy will not, on its own fix your relationship. This will require hard work and dedication on both your parts inside and outside of the therapy room. Therapy is also not advice on wether you should split as a couple. Hopefully your therapy will help you see things more clearly allowing you to better understand yourselves and your relationship. As a consequence of this, may allow you to make better informed decisions about your future. It is not a guarantee that the outcome will be a perfect relationship either, I’ll be honest with you now, I honestly do not believe the perfect relationship exists other than in films or on the TV. It is an ideal we are fed as a society that we always have to be in love, never argue or have no differences as individuals at all.

Starting therapy, how that looks…

Firstly, let me begin by saying that every couple I work with is different, they have different wants, needs and goals for their therapy. As such I do not try to force my clients into one particular way of working with one theory or modality as it’s often known, as this may not suit them. I instead work with a wide range of theories, based on what ever it might be that we are working with at the time.

There are some principles that are ever present in all the work I do wether that is with couples or individuals.

  1. My room is a safe space, you are free to discuss whatever you want you in as much or as little detail as you feel comfortable doing. 
  2. I never judge my clients or what they say, never.
  3. I am not biased towards one client or the other, I respect all perspectives and treat each person as an individual showing all of my clients, empathy, dignity and respect.
  4. I aim to create a space in the session that is blame free for both clients for the time we are together. 

Further more I use a three phase approach to help support and guide my couples work . Each phase has no time limits in terms of the numbers sessions it takes to ‘complete’ each phase, indeed phases often over lap or get revisited on multiple occasions. As such I do not view phases as tickbox exercises that get done and then forgotten about. Instead the nature of the phases helps give what we do a framework initially so you do not feel like your therapy is meandering aimlessly. The phases are as follows-

Phase 1 Exploration. Really unpicking what it is that is going on for you as a couple from all perspectives and looking below the surface to discover the infilled wants and needs

Phase 2 Understanding. In this phase our work together really gets to grips with understanding the thoughts, feelings and emotions of not only yourself but your partner and your relationship. Couples often discover individual as well as jointly held unmet needs and wants and begin to work together to address this.

Phase 3 Action. This phase progresses the work in Phase 2, as well as really bedding in new strategies and skills in communication. It can also be the time to begin considering the end of therapy when appropriate.

As I have stated already, not all couples fit exactly and neatly into all three phases. For some phase 1 is enough for others phase 2 is where the therapy occurs and less emphasis is placed on phase 3.

I will work with you at a pace that suits your needs as a couple.

How it works –

I will have an initial session with both of you that latests 90 minutes. The next sessions will be individual sessions were I will see each of you on your own. These individual sessions last for 50 mins and are completely confidential. These sessions give me the opportunity to really begin to understand each clients view of their world and their relationship. The individual sessions will, in an ideal world happen the week following your initial session. Once you have had your individual sessions, our next session and all subsequent sessions there after will be together, of course does not rule out the possibility of either client seeing me for further individual sessions as we move forward. My hope is that you find the process rewarding and at least a little insight full.

Fees

Your first session is £90.00.

Individual sessions are £40.00 each

All subsequent sessions as a couple ate £70.00 each.

Frequency and number of sessions

Many couples choose to have their sessions fortnightly, others weekly, the choice is entirely yours. After your first 3 sessions (initial session, individual sessions and your second session together) I do not have a minimum or maximum number of sessions. As a very rough guide many couples therapy lasts for 6 sessions, for others it’s less.

How to book.

Taking that first step and contacting me is tough it might leave you feeling vulnerable but don’t worry you are not committing to anything you are just seeing what it is all about. Simply drop me an email or give me a call and we can take it from there. Go to my contact page here, I look forward to speaking to you soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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